New Findings

New findings in the rumored swine flu related demise of Kermit The Frog suggest foul play. Sources close to "Muppet Show" cast and crew have reported that some very strange circumstances have surrounded recent rehearsal of a possible "Muppet Show" reunion special to air on ABC next spring.A source who wished to remain anonymous tells this reporter that Miss Piggy has been seen repeatedly entering and leaving Muppet Labs, the on site research facility of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant Beaker. "Why was she over there? She never cared for the Lab or Honeydew," says our source. "She absolutely HATED Beaker and the way he spoke, often claiming that 'If you live here you should speak the language'."Such odd behavior and racist comments coupled with recent developments suggesting that The Swine Flu may be the result of scientific research do little to help the Pig's case."Let's just say she knew something about this reunion special, something that she didn't want the public getting wind of, " our source says. "It's no secret that since the show was cancelled and Kermit was no longer under such pressure to 'keep up appearances' that he and Gonzo became much more open about their feelings toward each other. You KNOW she didn't want that kind of publicity, what with her vying with Valleri Bertenelli for the next spokesperson spot for Jenny Craig!"We were unable to reach anyone at Muppet Labs for comment.

Sesame Street in Mourning. . .

As the world mourns the passing of the late Kermit The Frog, the lights have been dimmed on Sesame Street. "Not since Jim (Henson) died have we felt such loss," said a tearful Big Bird, clinging to longtime friend and rumored lover Snufleupogas. The couple have been serving as unofficial spokespuppets for the grieving community. "This sort of thing rarely happens in our little circle. We were all very sad years ago when Mr. Hooper passed, but Kermit was really 'one of us.' I guess it really isn't easy being green."
Other Sesame regulars, amongst them the usually tickled Elmo, have constructed an impromptu memorial around the garbage can of Oscar the Grouch. "The Slimy bastard was always one of my favorites," sighed The Grouch, who has been something of a recluse these past several years, rarely being seen outside his can. "He reported the Sesame Street News like he really felt for the people in his neighborhood." said Oscar. "He will be greatly missed."
Many other S. Street friends were on hand and had much to say about the loss of the amphibian newsman. "I will miss seeing him both NEAR and FAR," said Grover. "He was one of the few cast members that told me he thought that bit never got old. He was a great supporter of our community."
"The number of the day is Minus One, Minus One little green frog! Wahahahahaaaaa!" cried The Count.
In a private interview out in the suburbs, longtime couple Bert and Ernie shared many fond memories about their companions Kermit and his Muppet Show co-star, Gonzo.
"There we all are in P-Town, and there we are at The Pines - he loved the beach," Ernie recalled as he flipped through the many pages of photos.
"There are so many great things we will miss about him," said Bert. "We have so few role models in the puppet community - you know, longtime, committed couples who don't find monogamy a crime. It can be really hard to be faithful when you can fit a fist and most of an arm up your ass. Ernie and I always looked to him for guidance in our own relationship."
"We just hated that he had to use that bitch pig as a beard!" added Ernie heatedly through his tears. "The public makes it so hard to be who you are - I mean, look at poor Tinky Winky, for Chrisakes! If it hadn't been for that whore pork chop-" but with a sharp squeeze to his rubber duckie from Bert, Ernie went quiet.
"That's all we have to say," finished Bert.
Many of the Frog's friend's on S. Street have heard the rumors about Miss Piggy and The Swine Flu, but declined comment. Only Cookie Monster had this to say on the matter:
"She bad piggy. Me no like - never liked! C is for Cunt."

(source: NUNUNewsUCanUse)

The "great" outdoors

My new BF and I have decided to go camping. I have not been camping since I was in High School. I have worked at camps and attended camps, but I have not really actively searched out the great outdoor activity of camping since I became and adult.. I am an Eagle Scout and I am no stranger to camping, but it has been a LONG time. My best friend and his BF are going to join our group, and as soon as J and I got behind the project, camp took on a whole new meaning. We soon found ourselves at Target, Dick's Sporting Goods, and Homo Depot in a mad frenzy to deck out our campsite. This is going to be the campiest camping ever. I will update our progress as we go along. So far, the list of new camping equipment includes a tent (shown in photo), three lanterns, four camping chairs, to camping tables, a tarp to go under the tent, and lots of Christmas tree lights.

So far, we

You'll just Know

When I was younger and first started dating, I asked my mom how I would know if someone I met was really right for me. "You'll just Know!" she replied. That's it? No words of wisdom, no explanation? That was all I got. I thought she might have left something out, or just didn't want to talk about it or wanted me to ask my dad, or maybe SHE didn't know (which was kind of scary because she and my dad have been together for as many years as I have been alive). It took me a long time to realize that she was right and for once being very precise and succinct in her advice. Of course, part of this prophetic advice only comes to fruition with the experience of dating a lot of people who make you know they are NOT the one. It becomes a mass process of elimination combined with a mental list of what your strengths are, what strengths in others compliment these, what you are really looking for, and what compromises you are willing to make. Recently I have met someone who makes me feel like I might "Know." It was one of those Broadway moments - "Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger..." It's too soon to really say for sure and I certainly don't want to jinx it, but that feeling is there. I try not to think about the fact that I'm not getting any younger, and my priorities and goals have shifted greatly from the days of my twenties and early thirties. It would really be nice to "Know." Part of me is telling me that I do - that part that throws practicality to the wind and is really just a hopeless romantic. The more cautious and rational part of me is saying take it a day at a time. So far, I get an incredible feeling whenever he is around, look forward to his little text messages throughout the day, and feel compelled to make him feel the same way. Is this "The Knowing" my mother spoke of? I guess part of the magic of the knowing is in the not knowing. . .but so far, it feels pretty good!

The first year

Well, the first year at my new school is rapidly coming to its end. Ups and downs don't even begin to cover it, but I have to say I still feel the way I did when I started - I'll eventually retire from this mess with a smile on my face. You see, I actually LIKE my job, my boss, MOST of the people I work with, and the population I serve. Maybe it's my frame of reference, but I can say I have been at both ends of the educational spectrum and being here in the middle, so to speak, is just fine with me. As far as retirement goes, I have about 18 more years before that even becomes a feasible possibility, and I know that much can change in that amount of time, but what I am hoping does NOT change is my desire to be here and my attitude about the work I am doing. It has been hard to see some people struggle with what we are doing here, and even harder to see some of the really good people get the shit end of the stick (one in particular, and damned if I'm not going to miss the crap out of you lady)! But at the end of the day, I want to still be able to pick up the phone when my mom calls and honestly be able to tell her, "Yeah, mom, I had a real good day! I made the right choice."