As the world mourns the passing of the late Kermit The Frog, the lights have been dimmed on Sesame Street. "Not since Jim (Henson) died have we felt such loss," said a tearful Big Bird, clinging to longtime friend and rumored lover Snufleupogas. The couple have been serving as unofficial spokespuppets for the grieving community. "This sort of thing rarely happens in our little circle. We were all very sad years ago when Mr. Hooper passed, but Kermit was really 'one of us.' I guess it really isn't easy being green."
Other Sesame regulars, amongst them the usually tickled Elmo, have constructed an impromptu memorial around the garbage can of Oscar the Grouch. "The Slimy bastard was always one of my favorites," sighed The Grouch, who has been something of a recluse these past several years, rarely being seen outside his can. "He reported the Sesame Street News like he really felt for the people in his neighborhood." said Oscar. "He will be greatly missed."
Many other S. Street friends were on hand and had much to say about the loss of the amphibian newsman. "I will miss seeing him both NEAR and FAR," said Grover. "He was one of the few cast members that told me he thought that bit never got old. He was a great supporter of our community."
"The number of the day is Minus One, Minus One little green frog! Wahahahahaaaaa!" cried The Count.
In a private interview out in the suburbs, longtime couple Bert and Ernie shared many fond memories about their companions Kermit and his Muppet Show co-star, Gonzo.
"There we all are in P-Town, and there we are at The Pines - he loved the beach," Ernie recalled as he flipped through the many pages of photos.
"There are so many great things we will miss about him," said Bert. "We have so few role models in the puppet community - you know, longtime, committed couples who don't find monogamy a crime. It can be really hard to be faithful when you can fit a fist and most of an arm up your ass. Ernie and I always looked to him for guidance in our own relationship."
"We just hated that he had to use that bitch pig as a beard!" added Ernie heatedly through his tears. "The public makes it so hard to be who you are - I mean, look at poor Tinky Winky, for Chrisakes! If it hadn't been for that whore pork chop-" but with a sharp squeeze to his rubber duckie from Bert, Ernie went quiet.
"That's all we have to say," finished Bert.
Many of the Frog's friend's on S. Street have heard the rumors about Miss Piggy and The Swine Flu, but declined comment. Only Cookie Monster had this to say on the matter:
"She bad piggy. Me no like - never liked! C is for Cunt."
Other Sesame regulars, amongst them the usually tickled Elmo, have constructed an impromptu memorial around the garbage can of Oscar the Grouch. "The Slimy bastard was always one of my favorites," sighed The Grouch, who has been something of a recluse these past several years, rarely being seen outside his can. "He reported the Sesame Street News like he really felt for the people in his neighborhood." said Oscar. "He will be greatly missed."
Many other S. Street friends were on hand and had much to say about the loss of the amphibian newsman. "I will miss seeing him both NEAR and FAR," said Grover. "He was one of the few cast members that told me he thought that bit never got old. He was a great supporter of our community."
"The number of the day is Minus One, Minus One little green frog! Wahahahahaaaaa!" cried The Count.
In a private interview out in the suburbs, longtime couple Bert and Ernie shared many fond memories about their companions Kermit and his Muppet Show co-star, Gonzo.
"There we all are in P-Town, and there we are at The Pines - he loved the beach," Ernie recalled as he flipped through the many pages of photos.
"There are so many great things we will miss about him," said Bert. "We have so few role models in the puppet community - you know, longtime, committed couples who don't find monogamy a crime. It can be really hard to be faithful when you can fit a fist and most of an arm up your ass. Ernie and I always looked to him for guidance in our own relationship."
"We just hated that he had to use that bitch pig as a beard!" added Ernie heatedly through his tears. "The public makes it so hard to be who you are - I mean, look at poor Tinky Winky, for Chrisakes! If it hadn't been for that whore pork chop-" but with a sharp squeeze to his rubber duckie from Bert, Ernie went quiet.
"That's all we have to say," finished Bert.
Many of the Frog's friend's on S. Street have heard the rumors about Miss Piggy and The Swine Flu, but declined comment. Only Cookie Monster had this to say on the matter:
"She bad piggy. Me no like - never liked! C is for Cunt."
(source: NUNUNewsUCanUse)
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